endgame: that silver canvas

the hour is getting early. only about six more hours left to sunrise. I've been editing since nine o'clock this morning. and the wear is only starting to get to me. a couple of hours in, an old friend of mine sent me a text message, expressing her delight that my film "THE WALK" ("VASENPUMPEN" in Swedish) was being broadcast at 40min past 1PM today. this was somewhat of a shock to me: SVT doesn't seem to fancy telling the production companies when they chose to air their films. what turned out to be a truly amazing consequence of todays broadcast though, is that I've received several e-mails and FACEBOOK-messages from people who caught the film on air, and who was kind enough to take time out of their regular lifes to actually write, and send me, a couple of lines to give me their impressions. every time a stranger tells me their experience of one of my films, I feel privelaged and honoured, and I hope they understand how grateful I am for their efforts. and, as life is as life usually is, these kinds of responses come when they're most needed. as I struggle to find my inner voice in my latest film, I am reminded that also this production will, in one way or the other, come to an end, sooner or later. I won't be stuck in this spinning wheel of uncertainty and doubt, of hopes and fears and of pride and ego for much longer. in a not too distant future, I will be sitting in a cinema somewhere, seeing the first frames of my new film "super hjälten" be projected on that silver canvas. and then it will all have been worth it. because in the end, it's not about the process. it's about the end product.